The Truth Inside the Tube
Published on 02-16-2011 05:29 PM
The obsession of the hedgehog for the most popular toy, a simple toilet paper tube, has raised many eyebrows and created some interesting theories to explain this odd behavior. Many of these theories can create heated discussions, and some seem plausible. The hedgehogs so far are refusing to comment on the true reason, and until they do, we can only attempt to logically explain the illogical.
It's a device to keep the aliens from reading their thoughts!- The properties of aluminum foil have been debated for years by humans as a protective barrier to prevent aliens from being able to intercept and read thoughts. Could it be that the simple layered paper properties of the standard toilet paper tube serve the same purpose? When contacted, the little green men from Mars chose only to comment that hedgehog tubing makes no sense to them either. Does this mean that the tube works?? Hmmmmm.....
It's a superhero costume!- Look out Clark Kent/Superman, here comes Superhedgehog! The calm, unassuming hedgehog who works in the cage next door slips into their toilet paper tube, and WHAM! Hedgehog becomes a superhero, with the power of invincibility, and the ability to bulldoze everything in their cage into a pile in one corner. This could explain the news reports of violent criminals found in corners of alleys with a mountain of garbage cans, newspaper, and other debris piled on top of them.
It's a thinking cap!- We often wonder how it is that hedgehogs can come up with so many ways to confuse their owner. The late night escapes from an "escape proof" cage, the nightly cage redecorating, the refusal to eat food that used to be their favorites.... All were ideas contemplated by the hedgehogs while wearing their thinking tubes! Now if humans just had thinking tubes to enable us to keep up with the hedgehogs.
It's a portable burrow!- Humans who desire to explore spend thousands and thousands of dollars to purchase recreational vehicles that allow them to leave home without leaving home. Hedgehogs are much more thrifty, and adapt their recycled toilet paper tubes to take the comfort of a snug dark burrow wherever they go. Some hedgehogs have even been known to pack a favorite toy in the end of their tube for playtime elsewhere.
It's a hard hat for destruction safety!- Humans in the construction or destruction industry wear hard plastic helmets to protect them from injury. With the remodeling that occurs in many hedgehog habitats on a nightly basis, hedgehogs wear their version of hard hats to protect them from anything that may fall. Safety first!
It's day vision goggles!- Hedgehogs are most active at night, when the light is very dim. Their eyes and noses are very suited for this night time activity. Daytime sights and smells are much more intense, and may be overwhelming for some hedgehogs. Application of a tube on their head adapts the brightness and intensity of daylight to a more twilight effect, allowing the hedgehog to play during the daytime with all of the comfort of the night.
It's a wormhole to an alternate universe!- If they could just squeeze through that tunnel, they would arrive into a world full of mealworms, special treats, and giant exercise wheels that will allow them to travel to exciting places! However,when the hedgehog ALMOST gets wiggled through the tunnel, those crazy owners tend to panic that the hedgehog is stuck, and remove them from the wormhole. The hedgehog is so close to reaching their version of Utopia, and it is jerked away!
It's an invisibility cloak!- If they can't see us, we must not be able to see them! This could explain the escaped hedgehogs who wander around with tubes on their heads. If they are wearing their tube, we can't see them and return them to their cages. This could also explain the number of hedgehogs who escape from their cages and cannot be found until they choose to be.
It's the hedgehog version of a baseball cap!- Ok, be honest, who hasn't hidden a bad hair day under a baseball cap? Hedgehogs have a hard time finding baseball caps that will fit, so they use tubes to cover their bad quill days.
It's a muzzle!- Hedgehogs don't voluntarily tube, the tubes are on their heads because the hedgehogs are prone to biting viciously, especially in the area of major blood vessels. Humans who are not willing to look silly by wearing full body armor while holding their hedgehogs apply tubes to their heads to keep them from attacking. (Just kidding!)
There is no real reason, they simply do it because they can!- Cats chase laser pointers, dogs bark at nothing, human toddlers play with boxes, race car drivers spend hours in hot cars driving around in circles... There is no logical reason for it, it just amuses them.